The First Step to a Positive Menopause Attitude (Hint: It Isn't Positivity)

I always thought I was reasonably capable — resilient, even. Life threw curveballs, I caught most of them, and dodged the rest with a grimace and a shrug.

Then perimenopause arrived…

Suddenly, the rules felt different. Not dramatic at first — just… shifted.

Strategies I’d used in the past to dredge up energy and focuse just stopped working — life felt like it was moving under my feet without asking permission.

And at first, I had no idea how to manage it.

But then, fortunately for me, I discovered something quietly revolutionary: awareness is power — especially when your body is changing the rules.

Awareness before anything else

Before I could even think about being “positive” about menopause — because trust me, that phrase made me roll my eyes — I had to notice what was happening. Really notice. Not in a frantic, hyper-vigilant, “oh my god, every symptom is a cue for crisis management” kind of way. More considered recognition. Observation. Presence.

In my quiet moments, I realised I couldn’t control every hot flash, foggy morning, or inexplicable mood swing.

But I could stop being unhinged by them.

That tiny mental recalibration — recognising what was happening instead of pretending it wasn’t — was the start of everything.

I started small:

• Acknowledging that forgetting names didn’t mean I should be put out to grass.

• Noticing that a sudden wave of irritability didn’t make me bad; just human.

• Observing that taking a bit longer over my morning coffee didn’t mean the day was doomed.

And with this shift, instead of feeling assaulted by menopause, I could start to see each symptom ‘attack’ coming. Like spotting an ex-boyfriend waving in a crowded room before they reach you, instead of being smacked in the face by surprise.

PMA begins here

This is your pivot point.

PMA doesn’t start with positivity. It starts with recognition.

Footing before flourishing. Awareness before action.

Once I noticed what was happening, I learnt I could choose my response. Not “fake happy,” not “power through,” not “pretend it’s all fine.” Just: observe, pause, then respond.

I began experimenting with what I now think of as my PMA toolkit:

• Saying no to tasks I didn’t have the energy for — or frankly, didn’t want to do.

• Giving myself permission to pause, to breathe, to sit with discomfort without rushing.

• Noticing my feelings without judging myself for having them.

• Forgiving myself when my memory let me down.

It was revolutionary. In tiny, almost imperceptible ways, I was reclaiming control. Not over menopause itself — you can’t negotiate with that witch — but over my experience of it.

Tiny moments, big freedom

One morning, I lingered over my coffee longer than usual. Nothing special, just me, a mug, the morose sound of rain tapping against the window. And it dawned on me how much I’d been rushing — always doing, always managing, always striving to complete or achieve.

This pause, my sudden recognition of such a small but beautiful moment of nothingness, felt like rebellion. My whole being was rebelling against the relentless need to perform. Against the autopilot. Against the old “must-do” self that had been running me ragged.

I started keeping a mental tally of these micro-wins:

• Arriving two minutes later.

• Walking without checking my phone.

• Completing a task at my own pace instead of racing the clock.

Nothing monumental. But collectively, these tiny moments added up. They were my superpower. And slowly, the cloud of helpless drudgery lifted — not gone, but lighter, manageable, even… companionable.

The power of humour and self-compassion

Humour became my secret weapon. If you give yourself a chance to see it, menopause has a wonderful way of creating absurdity:

• A forgotten to-do that turned out to be utterly to-don’t.

• A misread text that sparked a ridiculous discussion about ducks.

• A brain fog moment that left the postman flummoxed.

here I would once have felt guilt or shame, I now laughed. “Ah yes,” I said to myself, “my menopausal monkey’s struck again. Time I knitted my own monkey.” Life is messy, and if you can make yourself giggle at your own chaos, you’re already winning.

Self-compassion followed naturally. Instead of berating myself for being forgetful, tired, or irritable, I reminded myself: this is temporary. I am human. I am still capable, just today’s capability got creative.

PMA isn’t about pretending it’s easy. It’s about seeing possibility in chaos, freedom in imperfection, and humour in the absurdity of it all.

From bewilderment to curiosity

Here’s the kicker: the early blindsided feelings — the confusion, the little frights, the “what is happening to me?” moments — they highlighted my resilience. Each wave of discomfort taught me something valuable about me.

I shifted from:

“What’s happening to me?”

to

“What can I learn from this?”

From bewilderment into curiosity. From surprise into recognition.

From frustration into freedom.

Through PMA, I discovered:

• Empowerment through observation

• Freedom through recognition

• Joy through imperfection

Menopause doesn’t have to be a thief. It can be an eyeopener.

Your PMA takeaway (and permission to knit your own monkey)

So, if you’re at the start of your menopause journey, facing strange new sensations, unexpected moods, or little surprises that make you pause with emotional discomfort, remember:

• You are not broken.

• You are not failing.

• You are absolutely not going mad.

That cloud hovering over your day? Make it your signal, not your jailer. Awareness is your seed, recognition your germination dust. And from there, positivity will have a chance to bud.

Reclaim small victories, friend. Celebrate all unexpected micro-wins. Laugh at your menopausal moments. Learn from the greatest teacher you have; you.

Pause, observe, respond. And yes… please, please, please go knit your own monkey. Life is messy, beautiful, and entirely yours to shape, one stitch at a time.

Through PMA, I found the tiny shift that unlocked my superpower — and so can you.

Like the sound of that? Come and join me on Facebook — I’ve got plans to turn this menopause lark into the baboonas cahoonas!

Big hugs and keep positive!

GK Kingsley
Positive Menopause Attitude

Helping women find freedom, humour, and self-worth in menopause and midlife. YOU still have a yarn to tell…. It’s time to knit your own monkey! 🧶🌸💪✨